ABC: The White Paper (But Funnier)

ABC is a valueless meme coin on Solana with no intrinsic value, no cash flows, and no promises. It exists for memes, vibes, and social coordination. If you’re reading this for investment advice, you’ve already failed the vibe check.

Alexander the Great found a shiny coin in the sand and immediately invented ABC—backed by ambition, horse memes, and zero fundamentals. We honor this legacy by launching a token that is both gloriously useless and strangely desirable.

• Ticker: ABC
• Chain: Solana
• Decimals: 6
• Supply: 5,000,000,000
• Taxes: 0% (we only tax bad jokes)

• Presale: 60% — public chaos, fair-ish distribution
• DEX Liquidity at TGE: 25% — Raydium pool • Jupiter routes
• Airdrops: 5% — quests & community antics
• Marketing: 5% — whistles, bells, suspicious billboard
• Team: 5% — 3-mo cliff, 12–18 mo linear

LP tokens: lock or burn. Supply: revoke mint authority post-TGE.

Founder’s Truth Clause: may we all make money; may I make slightly more.

None. Zilch. What we offer instead: S-tier memes, chaotic-neutral community, and a great conversation starter at brunch (“No, mom, it’s not a scam, it’s post-utility”).

• No insider taxes. No surprise sandstorms.
• Liquidity at launch. A civilized place to panic.
• The founder wants to outperform you. Transparency is key.

1. Read this paper and laugh nervously.
2. Verify the mint address yourself.
3. Swap on Jupiter; stare at numbers.
4. Post a meme about “utility arriving any day now.”
5. I act surprised when number changes.

• Q1: Launch & Lore — Site, abacus, presale, liquidity, memes.
• Q2: Culture Spam — Airdrops, quests, sticker packs, possibly a toga contest.
• Q3: Overpromise Minimalism — Announce nothing, deliver even less, somehow trend.
• Q4: Victory Lap — If number up: geniuses. If not: “macro.”

Roadmap is decorative. Like Corinthian columns.

One token = one opinion = infinite arguments. Binding votes may include:

• Should the horse get a hat?
• Is “no utility” our ultimate utility?
• Should the founder be allowed to outperform everyone? (Yes.)

• Market: Number may not go up. It may go aggressively sideways.
• Smart-Contract: Code can contain oopsies.
• Liquidity: Pools can evaporate like puddles in the Sinai.
• Social: Unfollows may occur after chart screenshots.
• Foundational: No intrinsic value—both the joke and the risk.

What backs ABC? Ancient ambition and contemporary audacity.

When utility? When Bucephalus learns Solidity.

Are you really trying to make more than me? It’s called competitive altruism.

ABC is a monument to pure speculation: shiny internet coins that make your brain release sparkles. May we all prosper. May I prosper just a smidge more. Verify the mint. Touch grass.